'Absolutely!' : Character Breakdown
Head Teacher: MISS HANDEL 24 Lines inc. 1 lengthy speech
English Mistress: MISS SPELT 1 Line
French Mistress: FOU-FOU LA MARR 7 Lines + Dance with Clueless
Science Mistress: MISS BUNSONBY 5 Lines
Games Mistress: MISS FAIRPLAY 13 Lines
School Nurse: MATRON 4 Lines
Cleaner: MRS HOOVER 3 Lines + Solo song
Pupils:- TILLY TINSDALE 26 Lines
MILLY 12 Lines
LILLY 15 Lines
(Y1) HETTY 3 Lines
(Y1) NETTY 4 Lines
(Y1) BETTY 3 Lines
(Y1) LETTY 3 Lines
SALLY 3 Lines
ALLY 3 Lines
McNALLY 6 Lines
DOLLY 2 Lines
POLLY 1 Line
MOLLY 1 Line
Police:- INSPECTOR CLUELESS 54 Lines + 2 Song & Dance Numbers
SERGEANT BLUNT 15 Lines + 2 Song & Dance Numbers
PC PLOD 2 Lines + 2 Song & Dance Numbers
PC CLOD 2 Lines + 2 Song & Dance Numbers
PC TROD 1 Line + 2 Song & Dance Numbers
Chorus:- ENSEMBLE OF PUPILS
Character And Costume Notes
The Headteacher. Strong acting role with some lengthy passages of dialogue. Wears a line in rather extravagant floral dresses with a string of pearls around her neck. Formidable and eccentric at the same time, constantly overacting in a very ‘hammy’ style with more than a touch of Alistair Sim’s ‘Miss Fritton’ from the original St Trinian’s films about her. Speaks in a very ‘posh’ accent.
The English Teacher. Small acting role. Very prim and proper. Dresses in a tweed suit with her hair in a tight bun. Speaks in perfect ’RP’.
FOU-FOU LA MARR
The French Mistress. Strong acting and dance role. Does the Paso Doble with Clueless. Modelled on Vicki Michelle’s character ‘Yvette Carte-Blanche’ from ‘Allo ‘Allo’. Wears a frilly white blouse and a straight black skirt to the knee with a beret worn at a ‘jaunty’ angle. n.b. The skirt must allow her to dance the Paso Doble. She speaks in a heavy 'cod' French accent.
The Science Mistress. Small acting role. Very serious character. Wears glasses and a white Science Coat.
The Games Mistress. Strong acting role. ‘Jolly hockey sticks’ type character. Must be able to move well for the ‘Waltz Of The Hockey Sticks’. She wears a games outfit (polo shirt/games skirt with knee-length socks etc.). She carries a whistle on a string around her neck.
Strong acting role. Dresses in a nurses outfit and carries an ‘oversized syringe’. Sergeant/major type she ‘barks’ orders out and the pupils are scared of her. Turns completely ‘mad’ at the end of the show. This requires a great deal of over-acting!
The School Cleaner. Strong singing/comedy role. Takes the lead vocal in ’Cleaner To The Stars’. Wears a floral housecoat, rubber gloves to hand and turban around her head, possibly with curlers protruding from beneath it. Wears fluffy slippers on her feet. Speaks in a strong regional accent. Should be able to move well.
The pupils (both chorus and named roles) at St Huberston’s have a distinct overall costume ‘look’. This is very messy school uniform. Their own ‘real life’ school uniforms could be adapted as costume to this effect if it is still in the traditional style of skirt/trousers, pullover/cardigan, blouse/shirt and they most definitely must have school ties though (for some reason, no doubt to do with my own school days, I have always used maroon ties for the Absolutely costume). Their ties should never be worn neatly around the collar; they should be messy/loose or worn as headbands or even garters etc. Again, it’s all very St Trinians!
Strong acting role. Confident, cheeky and popular. She speaks in a heavily exaggerated posh schoolgirl accent including an element of ‘lisping’.
Tilly’s friend. Strong acting role. Also speaks in a heavily exaggerated posh schoolgirl accent without the lisping.
Tilly and Milly’s friend. Strong acting role. Heavily exaggerated posh accent but no ‘lisping’.
Small acting roles. School friends, all first-formers.
Small acting roles. Contemporaries of Tilly/Milly and Lilly but are members of McNally’s ‘clique’.
Strong acting role. Spiteful pupil; very jealous of the ‘popular’ Tilly. Has her own ‘clique’ of Sally and Ally.
Small acting roles. Another separate group of friends.
Strong acting and dance role with some singing. Does the Paso Doble with Fou-Fou. Comedy detective in the ‘Inspector Clouseau’ mould but no French accent. Wears a trench coat with trilby hat and carries an oversized magnifying glass which he peers at things through repeatedly.
Strong acting role. Inspector Clueless’ long suffering Sergeant. Also features in 2 song and dance numbers. Police Uniform and helmet with Sergeant stripes. Carries a large notebook and pencil. He has a strong regional accent, the only one of the Police with any brains. He is constantly making sarcastic remarks with Inspector Clueless never ‘quite gets’.
PCs PLOD, CLOD & TROD
Small acting roles but also feature in 2 song and dance numbers. The hapless/bumbling Police Constables. Wear Police Uniforms and helmets.
Gender of Roles : Boys vs Girls
Although it can be seen from the character breakdown that 'Absolutely!' is nominally set in a girls school the gender of the roles can easily be changed ‘ad hoc’ to accommodate either an even split between male and female cast members or indeed a unisex cast of either gender.
All we would say is that in renaming the characters to allow these changes that within the rhyming groups of pupils names the same rhyming schemes are preserved. e.g. Tilly, Milly and Lilly become Harry, Barry and Larry etc. Please feel free to adapt this aspect of the production as necessary to suit your particular performance scenario.